Messy Faith

 What does it mean, to be a woman of messy faith?

At first I used the term to rip off a self righteous mask I wore. I wanted the world to know that I wasn't as perfect as I thought I was. 

As I grew in my faith and my knowledge of my Jewish heritage, it became a coded way of expressing my faith walk as a "Messianic Jew". But, even then it was my term all my own, I didn't belong anymore to a specific denomination of Christianity, but neither did I fully belong in the "Messianic camp". 

There is nothing orthodox, or kosher about my lifestyle. Except, I genuinely love the expressions of my Jewish heritage. 

I still go to a Sunday church. But? I cherish  and practice the biblical Sabbath.

In fact, I love and celebrate the entire biblical calendars from Feast of Trumpets to Passover, it's a blast.

I appreciate much of the works of Martin Luther, but I cringe at his antisemitism.

I love the whole Bible from beginning to end. 

I squirm in my seat when someone preaches church traditions,with the same importance as Scripture. I actively have to work hard to not be harsh when it comes to much of church history and opinion. I chose mercy because God is merciful. I will not die noble deaths on the hills of sabbath keeping, and biblical calendars trying to convince the church world that the way I walk with God is the best way.

But. I will share , and I will testify of the closeness of God. The perspective that I see Him from, and the way I walk with Him. I've reached the place in my life where I don't need anyone to follow me, but I would love to tell you about the way I follow Him. 

I would love to share with you the treasures I've found in His Word. 

I would love to be a conduit of His mercy. 

I long to be a reflection of His character.

If you haven't guessed already, I'm in a different season of life. Almost two years since my last blog post, and there have been many changes, and much has stayed the same. I'm still in my beloved Montana. I still have my beautiful family, now occasionally grown by foster children. I have a greater responsibility in the areas of ministry and teaching, and I love it dearly. I'm writing a book. I'm still contending for my health. I still struggle with "messy" moments of balancing faith , life , health , and passions. Through it all, God is sovereign, and He's my friend. 

I think this is the biggest truth I hold amidst all of the "noise" in this world. God is my friend.